Seinfeld Unsolved


Seinfeld was the master of its domain when it came to presenting and solving mundane mysteries. As it turned out, Jerry wasn’t invited to Tim Whatley’s party, George’s LeBaron convertible wasn’t previously owned by John Voight the actor, the creepy guy from the Subway made the Elaine mannequin and it was McDowell who spat on Kramer and Newman.

However, there were a few mysteries that remained unsolved …

1. Why didn’t Audrey taste the pie?

As Jerry summarised – ‘that’s one for the ages.’ Was she full? No. Was she averse to pastry? No. Did she witness something unhygienic going on at the coffee shop? She couldn’t have. Kramer later saw her eating the very same pie in the very same coffee shop. However, the fact that Audrey acted a little defensive when probed meant something was off that day she didn’t taste the pie. To quote Jerry, ‘why can’t we know?’

Possible explanation

Maybe she didn’t want to eat from the same fork as Jerry. The other explanation is that perhaps she really was a ‘psycho.’ According to the woman Jerry spoke to at the coffee shop, you’d have to be to refuse a bite of your friend’s pie without an explanation. I’d love to know other people’s theories!


2. Why did Christie always wear the same dress?

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New book coming soon…

Buying the whole CD just to listen to one song. Butterfly clips. Shark clips. Slip dresses worn over tight t-shirts. Tencel jeans. JTT. The truth is out there. Chat rooms. Chunky streaks. Crushed velvet. Picking your favourite Spice Girl. Cardigans with faux-fur collars. The rhythm of the night. Rhythm is a dancer. Lip Smackers. ‘The Rachel’ haircut. Elizabeth Arden’s Sunflowers perfume. Nick Carter. Devon Sawa. Everyone owned a copy of Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill. Grunge. Hip hop. Goths. The golden era of boy bands. Britney or Christina? Zig-zag metal headbands that dug into your head. Rollin’ with the homies. Choosing between Brandon and Dylan. I’ll never let go. Recording the top 40 on a cassette tape and pressing pause when the ads come on. Jelly sandals. Tamagotchis. MMMBop. Overalls. Mini backpacks. Mood rings. And last but not least – chokers.

Can you guess which decade I’m talking about? My upcoming novel will take you there.

Chapter one coming soon to Wattpad

“On Wednesdays We Wear Pink”: The Best Girl Cliques of Pop Culture


1. The Plastics – Mean Girls

Mean Girls certainly wasn’t the first movie to put a girl clique at the front and centre of the action, but it was the first (unless you count Heathers) to blatantly shine a spotlight on the politics and psychological tactics needed to keep a girl clique up and running – think intimidation, bitchy three-way phone conversations, keeping secrets, burn books and rigid rules around dress and behaviour. That’s because Tina Fey’s screenplay was based on Rosalind Wiseman’s self-help book Queen Bees and Wannabes. The result was comedy gold that often cut a little too close to the bone.

Hierarchy: Janis’ observation that “evil takes a human form in Regina George” wasn’t far off the mark when she described the school’s resident queen bee and if Mean Girls was Game of Thrones, Gretchen Wieners would totally be the hand of the queen. In fact, when there was disturbance in the realm with Regina’s “army of skanks”, Gretchen used another old world battle analogy to vent her frustration: “Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become OK for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about! We should totally just stab Caesar!” Karen Smith would be, like, the queen’s servant girl, or something.

Dress Code: The Plastics wore pink on Wednesdays, they couldn’t wear sweatpants on a Monday and let’s not forget how Gretchen was forbidden from wearing gold hoops. Offences were punishable with banishment from their lunch table.


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