Every Sex and the City episode ranked from worst to best

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hbo.com

Carrie: ‘Great love, what does that even mean?’
Charlotte: ‘It means a love that changes you, that shakes you to your core, after which you’re never the same.’

For many women of a certain generation, Sex and the City was a ‘great love’ – and, it can be argued, we were never the same. The show first came into my life when I was the impressionable age of 16. I wanted to be a writer, had no idea about boys and spent all my money on the latest boob tubes and pedal pushers to hit Miss Shop.

Sex and the City spoke to me, which, now that I think about it, was part of its problem – teenagers could relate to Carrie and, to a certain extent, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. I can’t help but wonder what 30 something women thought of them back then.

These days, some of us talk about SATC like an ex that disappointed us but still holds a place in our hearts. So here, like a mix tape, is my inconsistent, messy and completely subjective list of every SATC episode ranked from worst to best, chronicling my love-hate relationship with a show that both influenced and infuriated me.

94. Ring a Ding Ding

Also known as the episode where Carrie has money problems, this is the one I love to hate. Following Carrie’s break up with Aidan, he gives her 30 days to come up with the money to buy her apartment. She suddenly realises she’s spent $40,000 on shoes and, after failing to get a bank loan, visits Big.

In other words, she goes to her ex – the very reason for her most recent break up – wearing what the Instagram account ‘Every Outfit on SATC’ informs me is ‘head-to-toe Chanel’ to childishly and helplessly say, ‘You know money, I want you to teach me what you know about money.’ I’m not exactly on top of my finances, but even I know the basic principles of saving and that spending $400 a pop on 100 Manolo Blahniks equals $40,000.

Kate Erbland articulates her rage at this episode a lot better and in more detail than me in her article for Film School Rejects. If you have a similar opinion, I suggest you check it out.

On a side note, wouldn’t Richard’s personal shopper have been fired anyway for writing ‘Love Richard’ on the card?

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Seinfeld Unsolved

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Seinfeld was the master of its domain when it came to presenting and solving mundane mysteries. As it turned out, Jerry wasn’t invited to Tim Whatley’s party, George’s LeBaron convertible wasn’t previously owned by John Voight the actor, the creepy guy from the Subway made the Elaine mannequin and it was McDowell who spat on Kramer and Newman.

However, there were a few mysteries that remained unsolved …

1. Why didn’t Audrey taste the pie?

As Jerry summarised – ‘that’s one for the ages.’ Was she full? No. Was she averse to pastry? No. Did she witness something unhygienic going on at the coffee shop? She couldn’t have. Kramer later saw her eating the very same pie in the very same coffee shop. However, the fact that Audrey acted a little defensive when probed meant something was off that day she didn’t taste the pie. To quote Jerry, ‘why can’t we know?’

Possible explanation

Maybe she didn’t want to eat from the same fork as Jerry. The other explanation is that perhaps she really was a ‘psycho.’ According to the woman Jerry spoke to at the coffee shop, you’d have to be to refuse a bite of your friend’s pie without an explanation. I’d love to know other people’s theories!

2. Why did Christie always wear the same dress?

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New book coming soon…

Buying the whole CD just to listen to one song. Butterfly clips. Shark clips. Slip dresses worn over tight t-shirts. Tencel jeans. JTT. The truth is out there. Chat rooms. Chunky streaks. Crushed velvet. Picking your favourite Spice Girl. Cardigans with faux-fur collars. The rhythm of the night. Rhythm is a dancer. Lip Smackers. ‘The Rachel’ haircut. Elizabeth Arden’s Sunflowers perfume. Nick Carter. Devon Sawa. Everyone owned a copy of Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill. Grunge. Hip hop. Goths. The golden era of boy bands. Britney or Christina? Zig-zag metal headbands that dug into your head. Rollin’ with the homies. Choosing between Brandon and Dylan. I’ll never let go. Recording the top 40 on a cassette tape and pressing pause when the ads come on. Jelly sandals. Tamagotchis. MMMBop. Overalls. Mini backpacks. Mood rings. And last but not least – chokers.

Can you guess which decade I’m talking about? My upcoming novel will take you there.

Chapter one coming soon to Wattpad